It is officially spring, the season of purging. And while I DO need to go through my actual closet and get rid of some way over-worn and way under-worn items, I'm going to think of this list as a way to purge more from a personal and spiritual level. I'm not talking like the exorcist. Just a nice reminder of some head-clutter that might help us all live a little happier if we were to be free of it. Here we go.
Negative Self-Talk. It's so much easier said than done. Sarah and I gave some strategies to overcome negative self-talk (and what it is) in Episode 26 of our podcast 25% Friends. Listen!
Saying Sorry. I don't mean apologizing for something you did wrong that hurt someone. That is a good habit to have. But, I HATE the word "sorry". It's so overused that it feels insincere. We say sorry instead of excuse me. We say sorry for asking for something, when please would do just fine. I try so hard not to ever use that word- but it creeps up because it's like a social colloquialism. If you did something wrong and hurt someone's feelings, you can say "I apologize" instead.
A bad attitude. I've learned that the way you choose to look at a situation changes whether you feel happy or upset about the exact same outcome. And yet, I still get upset by how things turn out sometimes. But when I do, the first thing I ask myself is how I can look at what happened differently.
Complaining. I'm all in for a good vent-session with a friend who knows you just need to get something off your chest. But in the real world of getting shit done, you have three options only: Let it go, Change it, or Accept it. Complaining will not achieve any of these three. I need to reel it in if all that venting isn't steering me towards making a decision on one of those three paths.
Being afraid. I am pretty fearless when I know which direction I want to/need to/have to go. Even if I don't know how, I know I will eventually figure it out. And it's not about failing for me - failing is inevitable, and I'm OK with it. I have a harder time with fear when it comes to knowing which direction. Do I take this job, or that job? Do I have kids, or not have kids? For peet's sake, those are really big decisions and it's hard to just say "oh well, I might make the wrong decision but failing is just part of life!" It comes down to making the best decision that you can with the information that you have and the feelings you are exposed to in the moment. That's the best you can do. And, not being afraid is always just about doing your best.
Drama. No. Just no. It creates a better chance that I will experience #3, #4, #8, and #9 MORE. We are in the business of purging, not amplifying.
Believing yourself only. Gotta get rid of that! It's not so much the "I'm right, you're wrong" mentality... we all know that does no one any good. It's more the "I can only see things from my POV" thing that I can really do without. Believing yourself is good - it's a sign of self confidence and authenticity. Believing in others, even when it contradicts you - it's mindset 2.0.
Regret. There's just no point. If you have an outcome that is less than desirable, don't regret that you did it wrong (that won't change anything), embrace what you are learning. Then you can use that negative outcome to produce better ones. This is actually part of my personal manifesto.
Anxiety. Anxiety is so easy to accumulate. Kinda like calories. But it's rarely helpful because it gives power to the problem, not the solution. I am nearly always trying to purge anxiety from my life and replace it with peace.
If you'd like to join in the #reverb17 project, we have started a facebook group where you can find all the details of each month's writing prompt. We have no requirements or expectations other than to give you a way to express yourself in writing on a regular interval. We post monthly (with some fun Instagram Challenges) from January through November, then have daily prompts in December to reflect on the past year and set intentions for the new year! Join us here!