Reality check is my weekly confessional. The good, bad, and ugly will go here so that I can just... be. Be real. Be authentic.
I love diner food. There I said it. I love breakfast diner food, to be specific. No matter the hour of the day. I don't mean that I can ruck up to Amphora and have two eggs over easy with 2 slices of bacon and a side salad. Well, I can do that, but if that's all I'm going to have then I can easily just make it myself. Anyways, I do always get scrambled eggs and bacon, for the protein, but can't help but to also get pancakes on the side. With butter. And syrup. OMG. So, yeah - I did that this week. TWICE. I also ate 2 tubs of whole foods guac within a 9 day period (they are not small). No regrets.
Did you have a hard time resisting the urge to judge when I mentioned that I had stepped out emotionally on a relationship last week? At one time, I myself, struggled to reserve judgment. Not just about this, but about a lot of things. I thought a lot about that this week. How judgmental I use to be about everything and everyone.
A few years ago, I read the following quote "Don't assume that once someone knows things the way you know them, they will choose what you choose." It blew my egotistical mind. And while this statement was specific to decision making, what it means to me in a larger sense is that we are all so different. Given a set of absolute facts, people will still act in different ways. So while I might be able to say what I would do in a certain situation, that does not mean that others would, should, or could do it the same way. And I will never ever experience the world from a different point of view other than my own.
All of that to say... It's hard not to judge, especially when you feel like you know the whole story. You might know all of the facts, but don't really understand the experience... only the person who has lived it knows. I skirted over my particular circumstances on purpose, because it would have eclipsed the point of my post last week, and also I feel the more we try to explain the reasons we acted the way we did, that is making an excuse for what happened, and it comes across defensive. I'm not here to defend. I'm just here to be real.
I love this quote from one of my faves, Byron Katie.
This might be one of the ah ha moments that I end up discussing at this year end's #reverb16 challenge in December - there is always a prompt about something that made you think a little differently. This is such a clear, concise way of describing the mindset that we are trying to achieve through disabling our certainties (I Am boundaries) and being open to possibilities (what you are becoming).
I will share my story with you, because I think that it can help anyone that faces a similar situation. Not to do what I did, but to gather information about decisions and consequences, to have options, and to not feel alone. But, I'm not going to today. Because in the end, it doesn't matter what my story is to you. It only matters what my story is to me. I am the only one that can judge me.