Last week, we thought a little about the definitions we place on ourselves that are limiting. A quick read here, ICYMI. When we look in the mirror at the things we think we are, we also notice a lot of things that we think we aren't. I don't distinguish between 'I Am' boundaries and 'I Am Not' boundaries, they are all one in the same. They are all things we believe about ourselves that stop us from becoming something better.
So once we start the hard work of taking down boundaries, that leaves us vulnerable and exposed. It's quite chilly out there without four walls of certainty. And, it can be completely overwhelming to see the world of possibilities all around you and to know that any person you desire to be, you can be. We say that we desire this freedom of choice, yet we are so fearful of it. In fact, this freedom is the exact opposite of the certainty that we cling to. It's stepping away from what you know into what you don't know.
We need to try to seek ways to learn and understand ourselves better that won't result in making an absolute definition of ourselves out of it. I talked about this in my #reverb15 post True You. I think the best possible way to do this is to try things and hope for a less than perfect result. A perfect result will only tell you one thing: that you like the outcome. But, in general, once we have an outcome that we like, we stop exploring, even if there may be something better out there. We make that outcome our 'I Am' boundary.
However, if we don't get it just right, that gives us a gradient on which to measure how we feel about the outcome. It gives us room to try again and do better - maybe in the same way with practice, or in a different way. It gives us the motivation to seek more. And we can always come closer and closer to the outcome that we hypothesize but without making it an absolute destination. This allows the outcome we desire to evolve over time as well.
Imperfect outcomes are the best way to learn about ourselves and to continue becoming something else. Imperfect outcomes are what we should hope for, not be afraid of. So, I propose to invite mistakes and failures. Not strive for them, but accept them gratefully when they occur. And when mistakes come, relish them for all the valuable learning they can give you.
There is no such thing as failure, then. Instead of saying 'I Am', say 'I Am Becoming'.