Do you ever look in on your life from the outside, like you're experiencing your life in the 3rd person? Like a dream where you're floating above it all and can watch what's happening?
I do dream like this, often. I don't experience my dreams as myself, I watch myself and sometimes feel frustrated that I don't have control over what I do and feel scared because of what's happening in the dream even though the me I'm watching is oblivious to potential dangers.
It's a true metaphor for my personality. I do like to develop self-knowledge and look at my actions and reactions in moments of crisis, reflect and see where I could have done something differently or better, and try to use that knowledge to move forward as a better person. I cannot be in control of everything or anything that is happening around me, whether I know it is happening or not. I tend to be oblivious to potential dangers or bad thoughts or negative energy. This last piece I consider to be a true gift. Obliviousness.
It's hard to stay that way. Oblivious. Not naive. Just absent of all the extra unnecessary stuff. It's so easy to overthink. To think the worst. To think the most. To plan for every possible outcome. To even spend the time to think of every possible outcome. Exhausting.
It's hard to stay positive, full of light, absent of fear. But I try my absolute best. I look in from the outside so that I can stay full of gratitude for what I have. So full there isn't any room for anything else.