Yesterday, Sarah and I discussed how your personality type, one of four tendencies (Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, and Rebel), affects how we view habits, cope with change, and adapt to expectations around us. If you didn't get a chance to listen, you can do so here!
We are basing our discussion off of Gretchen Rubin's fantastic book Better Than Before. When I read this book, basic concepts related to my self-knowledge and preferences all came together and make so much sense! The topic of habit forming (and breaking) truly does come down to how you can best relate to the function of change- how you frame it for yourself, how you set your mindset to achieve a goal, and of course, whether you truly want to make the change in the first place.
I am a questioner. And a little bit of a rebel.
I question everything so much all the time it's a wonder I ever achieve anything. But on the other hand, I question everything so much, that I feel very secure in my decisions, because I've contemplated all (or many) possible outcomes, gotten lots of input, and have felt free to change my mind at any time.
I'm not a stick-to-my-guns person. I love to be persuaded!! Please, tell me why I'm wrong! I would love to change my mind for you. And if you cannot make that happen, then I know that by questioning my own inner voice, that my decision is still right for me. A word of warning though - I might question you to death while you're trying to persuade me- I can be quite exhausting that way.
Here are the Questioner truths identified by Gretchen in her book:
+ If I want to make a change in my life, I will make it right away.
+ I won't make a New Year's resolution, because January 1 is a meaningless date.
+ It's very important for me to make well-reasoned decisions; in fact, other people sometimes become frustrated by my demand for information to sound reasons.
+I like to hear form experts, but I decide for myself what course to follow. Even if I'm given a very specific instruction (say, with an exercise routine), I'll tweak it according to my own judgment.
+I can start a new habit without much effort, if it's something that makes sense for my aims. Otherwise, I will not do it.
And a few Rebel truths that I identify with as well:
+ If someone asks or tells me to do something, I often have the impulse to refuse.
+ I enjoy a challenge as long as I choose to accept it and tackle it in my own way.
+ If I'm expected to do something, even something fun, I have the urge to resist; the expectation takes the fun out of any activity that I enjoy.
Interesting, right?? I identify very closely with all of these statements. Moving forward armed with this knowledge of myself, I can more easily identify when I want change and when I'm resisting change and why. If you're interested in understanding your personality type, you can take the quiz here. What type are you?